The last day of the year. So we're down to the last of 2013, huh? This year has been such a trial for me. A lot of things happened to me this year. It's a truly memorable year, I'll say. 2013 was a tough battle, but the learning experience is worth it. Despite the hardships from school, work, and my life in general, God's blessings have been tremendous as well. It's not thanksgiving, but I don't need it to be thanksgiving to be thankful.

I'm thankful for my family. They're always patient with me. They keep me company. They keep me going. And they keep me fed. Haha. I see a lot of negative feeds on my wall about family conflicts and such, but I'm thankful that I have loving parents. I want to surprise them with a treat after I graduate. They don't know what's coming.

I'm thankful for my friends and my relatives here in Canada. Whenever I need anything, be it a drive to get something to eat, or someone to talk to, they're there to help. Similarly, I'm here to help as well, if you need to tell me something. They're always helpful, and funny. Life's fun with them.

I'm thankful for my good health. Like I've been telling everyone, I keep a quota of at most 2 times of getting sick every year. Be it a cold or a flu, I'm thankful that I don't have any problems with my body. 2013 has been a strenuous year at work and at school that I've been getting burned out often. However, I haven't had any serious illness from the exhausting work. In fact, I'm thankful that my employer is understanding, and I don't have serious issues at work for missing out often. A good health is a great asset.

I'm thankful that I don't have problems at school. Work is one thing, but studying is my primary goal at this point. Coming off from work to read the handouts is not easy. Studying in the office is also stressful, but sometimes I can't help it. Both may be common practice to working students, but it takes a sense of responsibility, a lot of effort and considerable patience to actually take time first before going to sleep. Otherwise, I'd just give up and hit the sack. I've done the latter a number of times, but I wake up early to review. That's why when I look back, I'm really happy that I'm passing everything.

I'm thankful that I've gotten recognition of my writing. I'm really surprised and flattered that folks even voted me as Best Writer in Mangafox.com; second place isn't bad. Not bad at all. 2013 has been a struggle for me in writing. You can tell by the lack of updates here. My fanfiction has been severely affected by the lack of time, that I've decided to use my freetime for my original literature. Don't get me wrong, I still want to write more fanfiction in the future. The hardwork and dedication paid off when I discovered that there are a number of people are following my stories. Well, they may not be a crowd yet, but I have to start somewhere. And I'm happy already.

I'm thankful for the material blessings. I have a habit of going up to the roof to pray upon greeting the first dawn of the new year; this was back in the Philippines. It's impossible to do it out here, when it's -51C. But I still pray while waiting for the first dawn of the year. In all honesty, I told God what I wanted. And here they are, I don't know where to put these gadgets in the house, because there's not much space left. To keep it short, I got what I wanted.

I'm thankful that I still have a job. It has been a tough 2013 at work. It really has tested my patience. I've learned a lot and gotten stronger. I feel more confident now, to the point that I'm confident that leaving this job won't be the end of me. But for the mean time, I'm happy that I still get to work. Oh yeah, I'm thankful for the wage increase. It's not a lot, but a positive feedback is always appreciated. I've been working hard, and I don't know what lies in the future, but I hope to learn and grow more. We'll see what happens.

I'm thankful for the wisdom. Wisdom has been an important driver for me in 2013. I didn't become rash in my decision making. And I'm also thankful for the guidance that I receive. At the back of my mind, I kept asking questions why these things and those things happen. Mostly, I wonder at the bad things that happen to me, why they happen. However, the wisdom gives me discrete explanations why such things happen. I also became depressed this year. I was able to put these events together as a life lesson. Suffering comes wisdom, and I did not fall out.

I'm thankful for the food. I'm still in shape, since round is a shape. It's been a great 2013 so far regarding my eating escapades. My cousin and I always hopped from one restaurant to another.

I'm thankful for the learning experience. 2013 left me exhausted, battered and bruised. I laughed. I cried. I cheered. I groaned. There are times when I just want to shout or cry in a corner. But life is a learning experience. 2013 let me grow. Right now, it feels like the start of a coming of age anime. Coz' next year, I'm going to start new stuff. I'm really looking forward to 2014, as it'll be what I call 'a stepping stone of a year'.

Nothing positive will come out of someone living a negative life. Life is too short to dwell in the negative. Stay positive. That's why they call it a 'new year.' Happy New Year, everyone!

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It might just be today or just for the mean time, but I have began to think of finding a new job. I can't do the things I want to do. I feel like I'm decaying. I read about famous people following what they wanted to do in life. The problem is not knowing what God's plan is for me. If I leave this job, will that be all right? I'm not happy, but how will I know if God's telling me to go. He wants me to be happy, right? Will things improve later on?

I'm sure to experience some significant changes next year, because my friend is leaving our firm next year to concentrate on his studies. I want to leave to and concentrating on my studies, but that means sacrificing money. Definitely, you can finish the studies, but I won't be able to have savings or buy what I want to buy. I actually started writing a list of positives and negatives about my plan of leaving my job. For now, all I want is a stream of uninterrupted break.

There's something wrong with me. I want to shutdown. I want to shut-in. It's just a feeling, which I need to convince myself that it's wrong to feel it. I need a loud, clear and crisp explanation to overcome this negativity. I'm getting discouraged. Maybe I'm getting distracted too. But is it more than that? I need money and I'm quitting? No, I just don't like my job. 'Count your blessings.' is what keeps me running at the minimum.

I've lost my will at work. It's been a very difficult day. Monotonous and I can't help feel concerned about Thursday. I have a fair idea of what will happen. November's about to end and there's about 3 weeks until my Christmas break. I shake my head at this trend how I'm always writing about breaks. That's how my life has turned. It's pathetic. How did I become paralyzed like this? Always writing about exhaustion and break. I can't see the signs that I'm improving. It's straining me. I want to break out to zones I'm not familiar with. This is my life. Am I who I want to be?

Labels: blogs