Saturday started out dull in my opinion. I was somewhat awake going to the office in the morning. But when my shift started, it felt like I lost all my energy. My arms kept typing with my tired eyes. I was passing out during my first two hours. Things started to pick up around 1pm, except for my heartbeat. I thought to myself that it's another one of those drowsy Saturdays in the office. It was a bit difficult during the first four hours. I wouldn't see a surprise on the fifth hour. I took my break at 4pm. I was still on break, when the superiors decided to end the shift. I just laughed inside. To be honest, I didn't want to go home yet, and it felt like I wanted to go on until 6pm because of all my hard fought 5 hours; like I didn't want it to go to waste now, and I could still stretch myself further. But they drove me a hard bargain. So I left the office to go home instead. Tsk. I didn't want to enjoy a nice Saturday afternoon. I wanted to be stuck in the office instead!

I felt so relieved. I'm just glad that work ended early.

Anyway, I came home at 4:45pm. I opened my computer, so I could write. My fasting doesn't end until 6pm. I forgot to mention that I was fasting too when I was in the office. It's my usual Saturday. I tried figuring out what to do next in front of my computer. I opened my Facebook. Then I opened my drawing software. I grabbed my pentab so I could draw an illustration for my novel. Unfortunately, I wasn't satisfied with the result. Oh well, I thought; it took me some time drawing anyway. With the Facebook on peeking on the taskbar, I received a message from the girl that claimed a piece of my heart.

I wouldn't want to spill what she had said here. It's pretty intimate. But I knew what she was meaning to tell me. I understood what she was trying to express me, because from her past experiences. I tilted my head on one side, folded my arms, and read on. I knocked on my heart what to say. And from then on, everything was just spontaneous. I reassured her that I have no other intention but to come to her and love her. It can be as simple as that I'm attracted to her. It can be as complicated as pursuing her with all I can, because I don't want to regret such important feelings if I ignored them. I don't want to get scarred from any regret. From the bottom of my heart, I just want to make her happy. I am aware of the reality that I may not accomplish this dream, but I have no intention to hurt her -- not in any way. I told her that it would be my loss if this relationship doesn't work. She has no reason to cry too. After all, it would be my loss. So I'm doing all I can, and I'm praying hard that our relationship would grow to infinity and beyond. I'm acting on my free will. It's my conviction to approach her and confess my feelings. And I'm really happy that she's giving her honest thoughts about what we're building.

This is what fasting does to me, I guess. I start to see, feel and taste things I haven't experienced before. I feel so alive right now.

Or perhaps, I'm just hungry and I was starting to get delirious. 6pm, I went to the kitchen to eat something. I continued on with my drawing after eating. Tomorrow's Sunday and I'm expected to teach the youth ministry. They've also put The Desert Song in one of the Praise and Worship lineup. I haven't even practiced with them, since I was a work. I was surprised that they'd add a difficult song knowing that I had no practice. I just shrugged it off; I'm not real worried.

Labels: 365-project