To my future self,

I want you to read well and think hard. You started this day with energy. It's still too early and you decided to head back to bed. When you woke up, you felt like you wanted to quit your job. What happened? Remember this day. This is the day of epiphany. I felt free in the office. I forgot how discouragement is a language of the enemy. That feeling of wanting to quit, I should've remembered that it's obviously the work of the enemy. Fear and anxiety can be cast down. It all depends on your voice. Shout. Command it like you mean it. These feelings are not from God. Thus you know where these come from. So I prayed very hard and sincere today. And I prayed to God to take all my burden, my sorrow, my fear and my worries. I confessed to God my frustrations in life and how I want to leave my work, but I told Him that I need money. But I also need some time off from work; that I badly need a break. I've told all of these things to Him. But all those negative feelings were gone after I rebuked them with a shout.

The truth is, it feels like you've been carrying them and not wanting to give them away until now. When you command all the negativity to leave you, say it like you mean it. You have the power. If depression strikes, rebuke it like you mean it. And at work, don't take anything personal. Look at the line on the computer. Move on, if refused. Who cares if they refuse? I really understood what it meant when God is in control. When you ask that God take over you, pray with sincerity. Pray with utmost faith. I really understood the feeling of how to be free today. Work felt so light, even though I've been placed with the harder project. At first, I thought that it was going to be a difficult day, but I kept on. And soon enough, I felt fire inside my chest like I wasn't myself-- something is taking over and I wasn't feeling worried at all. I wasn't feeling anything else except confidence. I felt so determined and I realized what was happening. This is freedom indeed. If I have this feeling to every challenging day, I'd be worry-free everyday! The feeling of adrenaline, confidence, worry-free, I was so convinced that everything was going to be okay.

God has taken over me. It's pure epiphany. I wasn't getting tired, and I kept going in the office. I didn't think about anything else, but the work in front of me. I was focused that I kinda' shook my head in disbelief. It's ironic how working fast can really affect you to be productive. It's always impossible until you see that it's done. No one cares if they refuse you. You shouldn't care and just move on. Accept it just like any disposition and move on. And when there's the feeling of negativity cast it out. It's a spiritual battle. Even when you're in front of the monitor, wrestle. Let God take over. Understand well that He's with you and that He's your boss. Give the load to God. Tell Him that you want to see Him in motion. I witnessed God in motion today. I hope that He continues His motion in your life, because I'm excited. Truly it felt, my world just opened up, and my spiritual comfort expanded even further.

Labels: 365-project