I don't know. Maybe because it's Saturday -- I work Saturdays which make me sour. Maybe I'm confused. Maybe I'm just lazy. Maybe I'm jealous. But I ask myself what have I been doing to my life up to now? I could only stare at the screen thinking about my life.

Maybe it's the cold weather. The winter here is a deep freeze and you can't do much. I don't want to go outside when it feels like -35C. It's hard to go around the city. So I feel restricted. I feel like crap. I want this day to end already, but I don't want Monday to come. Every week doesn't feel something new. What can make my rising sun new?

Happiness. We can't buy happiness. Satisfaction. It's hard to attain satisfaction. In economics, efficiency is making most out of something. I don't think I'm efficient enough or creative enough to attain satisfaction out of something.

Maybe I need encouragement. Maybe the stress seeped in without me noticing so it explains why I feel very tired. Maybe I'm disappointed. Maybe there's fear underneath. I just want to escape.

Labels: blogs